Wednesday, March 13, 2013

A Knocking.

     There aren't really words to describe what motivated me to go to Ireland. Not really an explanation on how it all happened. All I know is it was a tug at my heart and I knew I had to do it. This summer I will be traveling to China for school, which I am extremely excited about. But what comes after? I can not constrain myself to only a few places. I feel there has been a knocking on my heart to visit a new place after China, a new place closer to home.

Arizona Christmas Trees

With love,
Kenzie

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Monday, March 11, 2013

Feeling the Void

     I know all of us have had days where we feel empty. Where at times, ideas seem hopeless. And lately I have felt little to no inspiration to continue working on my projects. I have dabbled and piddled in them, but not taken full charge to them. I feel a space in what I need to communicate that's not there. I have a calling, yet I am afraid to reply. Afraid in the sense of, is it the right thing to do? Is it what's best for not only my current life, but also my spiritual one as well? The thing that I think we as people, living and breathing, struggle with is fear. Especially in Christianity, we live to worship a very powerful God. And at times, new ideas can seem scary and we must always keep in mind that every action we make, no matter how small will have a long-term effect. So I guess what I am trying to say is I have some praying to do. Although I feel a strong and very evident calling, I don't want to rush into anything, because I have learned from my past and I know that if I have concerns... My desires and naturalistic callings can wait.

 

With love,

Kenzie

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Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Transforming

     I want to start this post off with a big thank you to the new year. What a relief. Who knew that by progressing into the new year that there would be so much positive energy! I think a lot of people have really stuck by their new year resolutions and are probably continuously making new resolutions through out the whole year. So to all of you upholding your resolutions, thank you for inspiring me to achieve mine as well.
      Emotionally I have journeyed in a very positive direction. After many nights of prayers to help uplift my spirit into brighter days, it finally happened. I finally started seeing more positive aspects of every day life and common activities. Things have definitely looked up for me. I think a lot of it has to do with my new schedule, thankfully I enjoy my courses fairly and am studying for exams at this time as well! It has also became better to leave home much more than it use to. Sammy has officially moved to Denton and life feels for the first time, complete. Like maybe, just maybe I know what I'm doing for once. But... We can never be too sure. ;)






Here are some of my instagram photos.(captain_chlorophyll) Last week Sammy and I spent the entire time on the go. In my opinion it was a transitioning time for both of us. As we were both getting used to the idea of Sammy living in Denton we were also running around, getting errands done and so on.  Some big things happened too. Not two weeks ago I decided to dye my hair red and it turned out really pretty. I also finally went to the salon and had it trimmed and my hair couldn't be more thankful. But that's not the big news. Sammy bought a truck! I am really proud of him and thankful for everything he does for me, because he won't be using his other new car he has officially given it to me to drive. So I have a car now!! I couldn't be more stoked or thankful or even blessed. I am hoping that life continues to be as tranquil and happy as it is now for a very long time.

     - Much Love -

        Kenzie



   

Monday, December 31, 2012

2013

Happy 2013!

      Wow! What an amazing year 2012 has been. For me it was a time of renewal and change, moving on from the past and getting out of my hometown to start something new. And now as the new year begins I have been compiling a list of resolutions to try and accomplish throughout the year. I know many people think resolutions can be cliche but to me, they are symbols of hope and faith in not only yourself but also the new year. 
My Resolutions: 

  • Go to China.
  • Pass all my classes.
  • Get a new Tattoo.
  • Read something everyday.
  • Be honest in everything I do.
  • Be FEARLESS. 
     I am also going to try to participate in a 2013 bible challenge if any of you are interested. It seems like a really enlightening way to start the year: Bible Challenge.

Lana

Just remember if you set your mind to it, you can do it. 

Much love,
Kenzie


Thursday, December 27, 2012

Something Different

     I know it has been awhile since I've blogged. And honestly, I've been avoiding it. This past semester has been an emotional whirlwind of worry and stress and quite frankly it was probably best that I took a break.
     I feel as if every day I grow into something else, or in a more practical sense, a bigger, better, smarter version of who I was yesterday. I have learned to let go of things holding me back but also at the same time make peace with those things as well. It happened, it's over, today is a new day. I find myself upset less and less. I have become acquainted with school, now longing to return to my new home. These past couple of weeks with family have been tremendous and wonderful. God has surely blessed me with a great set of parents who love me dearly.
     And so brings me to my point of this post. I know I have few followers, but they are still followers. And when I created this blog I made a goal to hold on to my responsibility and share with others my viewpoints on how I feel about everything in this beautiful life, both dark and light. My goal is to be as real and down to earth as possible. I have a lot of aspirations for this blog and I believe that if I keep trying eventually it will help me with my future career. I am an avid reader of abeautifulmess.typepad.com, and her post today was the 365 day photo challenge. She spoke of how it inspired her because of how she changed over the course of one year. This got me thinking, as of right now I am evolving and a lot of things happening in my life are hard to take in and are sometimes very overwhelming. But how awesome would it be to just try to embrace the change. So. I've decided that as of 2013, I will be me. I will be who I am supposed to be and bear no shame in sharing with others my love of adventure, fashion, beauty, music, and best of all writing. I will try to post daily photos of my life/self portraits and share with you guys via this blog. I want to target my hobbies and really try to bring out the best in everything. 


Until next time,
Kenzie

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Stuck in a Funk

     It's been almost three months on my own and they honestly feel like the longest three months of my life. I thought by leaving and starting over I would be happy but I find myself in a continuous rut, it's the same problems that follow me, just a different place. I can't put my finger on why I've been so down, the only solution is that I long to see a familiar face around here. It's been a struggle for me to make very many friends here because I have been so busy with my classes. I'm scared if I will even pass math, I hate it so much, but I'm determined to keep trying. Everyone has been telling me the first year is the hardest and I hope that they are right. Before I came here I imagined my life as being full of fun and new adventure, finding friends with similar interests, excelling in my classes, working out all the time, and just being all around fabulous. But that is not the case at all. Instead I've found myself drowning in school work, no time management skills whatsoever, constantly missing my family and my boyfriend, feeling heartache because people are all the same wherever I go, and the walls of my dorm are literally closing in on me. I don't know what to do. I'm so used to seeing someone I know everyday, and then I go to not knowing anyone, spending weekends alone, with nothing to do in this tiny room.


     I keep thinking to myself that maybe I will be happier if I move into an apartment, but then what? I will really be alone. Sammy is only home every other week. At least here I can access the campus facilities simply by walking, if I got an apartment I'd have to find some way of transportation to the campus. I just can't put my finger on my wants right now or even my needs. I feel trapped... I'm having second thoughts on the the things that I was so set on only a few months ago. Now, I'm not even sure what I should do.

Advice would be greatly appreciated,
Kenzie.